As described in an earlier post, I had a conversation with Kafka's Ghost about finding spreads about my inner self, and what aspects of my self are coming forward. This is mostly due to the presence of the Empress (the first card I see when I open her Tarot of the Sephiroth, and it was one of the Present cards in the name spread). She is also my personality and soul card, and I feel her presence in full force now. She gave me the idea of a spread centered around her.
1 2 3
7 E 8
4 5 6
1, 2, 3 - Qualities of the conscious self
4, 5, 6 - Qualities of the unconscious self
7 - Past self
8 - Future self
1, 2, 3 - 5 of Pentacles, Knight of Swords, 9 of Cups
At first I was very confused by the presence of the 5 of Pentacles because there was nothing symbolically that made sense. It took a little while for it to actually hit me that I needed to pay attention to the image itself because it's pretty true. I do spend a lot of my free time in front of the camera as an artistic model. There's something beautiful about it, and I feel like I reach a higher plane of being.
The Knight of Swords also makes a lot of sense, as I am very communicative. I will definitely give an opinion though I'm not exactly known for having the most tact. I don't say inappropriate things, but I have a tendency to not think before I speak.
The 9 of Cups is my artist card. It's my creative force. It represents the pleasure I get when I pour my soul into my dance. I think this is when my bond with Her is the strongest. That is where She's channeling Herself into me, and I become Her vessel for expression.
4, 5, 6 - Queen of Pentacles, King of Wands, 6 of Cups
The Queen of Pentacles is a nurturing woman. Dependable. She is also very encouraging. She's the one to turn to when someone needs some very practical advice. This does make sense as I have found myself to be the person that people do turn to for advice. I think she is a positive queen for me, where the Queen of Swords represents the negative aspect of me.
The King of Wands appears a lot in different spreads. I can tell that he has quite the magnetic personality. I like looking at him when he appears. He draws me in. I think that's what I have when people get to know me. I seem to draw people in. Sometimes men tell me that they're extremely attracted to me despite the fact that I don't do anything to warrant it. I think I have a big personality, and like him, I usually stop at nothing to get my way.
Seeing the 6 of Cups was quite interesting to me. I think it's because I have this tendency to replay good events in my head. It's something that I love to do, and I love the fact that it distracts me from the present.
7 - The Hermit
Hmmm... I would say seeing the Hermit is pretty valid. I was constantly searching for who I was. I still am, but I was definitely lost. I never felt comfortable in the 9-5 world. I was constantly changing my appearance. Despite having friends, I was often very solitary. I would retreat into myself.
8 - 8 of Swords
Gah! This damned 8 of Swords! I am so sick of seeing this card, although it reflects how I'm feeling. There is this internal conflict of wanting to come into my own as a woman, but other forces want to keep me in a box. I think the difference is that I'm not having it. My struggle is how to move forward to come into my inner Empress.
Thoughts are always welcome.