Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Birthday Spread

So, it was my birthday last Sunday. Here's the birthday spread, courtesy of Aeclectic Tarot. There were so many 9-card spreads, I was actually really happy to find this one.

        5
1   2   3   4

1. You. At this time, in this place. Page of Wands. I am a creative spirit, feeling this urge to write, draw, dance. You name it, I want to do it. Most importantly, like him, I want to experience. Experience that wind he's feeling on his fingertip.

2. Opportunities that are coming up. 7 of Pentacles. Patience. I have been very slow and methodical about my process, it will all be worth it. Soon, I'll be able to reap the rewards of my work. I don't know when, I don't know how. All I know is that it will come.

3 Challenges that are coming up. 2 of Swords. This is about developing my ability to compromise. I'm a huge control freak, and I like getting things my way. I need to learn how to see the other side of the same coin in order to break free from impasses.

4. Gift or guidance. The Lovers. Always follow my heart. It may be scary to do so, but in the end it will worth it.

5. Wish or goal for the upcoming year. The Tower. The Tower has been popping up a lot. I've been feeling like something big is going to happen, but a welcome upheaval. Something in my spirit has been focusing on mothering. Mothering what? I don't know. Definitely not an actual child, though.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Happy Solstice!

In the spirit of the Solstice and my birthday (on Father's Day, and I'm 30-4), I do have two spreads to share, but I'm starting with the Bodhran Solstice spread from Aeclectic Tarot.

         1
4  The Sun  3
         2

1. During the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, more light is available to us. What in my life has been in shadow, that I need to shine a bright light on so I can see it clearly for what it is? Ace of Swords.

I have a tendency to be impulsive. I act without thinking, and it sometimes gets me into trouble. It definitely happens when I talk. I will inadvertently say the wrong thing without realizing it, and then I'm like "Oh, shit! Did I really say that?" I just need to take a step back and think clearly. Writing has helped with that immensely.

2. The word "solstice" comes from the Latin "sol" (meaning sun) and "sistere" (meaning to cause to stand still). What in my life am I trying to force into happening when instead I need to be still and patient? Temperance.

Lately I've been on this "work hard, party hard" thing. I've been consumed with dance and makeup for the past month that when I have this time to let loose and relax I go crazy (no drugs, I promise). Staying out until crazy hours, especially. I've found that it's just not working for me. It's just making me even more tired when all I need is that release. I think I just need to not do anything and let the release happen.

3. The Summer Solstice is often called "Midsummer" because it is roughly in the middle of the growing season. What in my life is fertile and productive now? Where are my opportunities for growth? The Fool.

This is a fun card to see. I've had been dealing with some personal issues, feeling like I had been stuck in this limbo. I was uncertain of what to do or where I was going in everything. I had a brief fling that ended a week before my birthday, and I had to dance the very day it ended (not thrilled to do so). The guy told me to dance for myself because I had to deal with all these emotions and the fact that another guy I had hooked up with was going to be there. I actually took his advice, and it was the most free I've ever felt in a long time. I truly did feel in the aftermath that something new was going to happen and that I needed to embrace what comes.

4. After Summer Solstice, the days gradually become shorter, and the sun's strength wanes as winter approaches. What is waning in my life? What do I need to release? 3 of Cups.

Ahhh, yes. The cards picked up on something that I've been thinking about doing. I've been considering taking a hiatus from performing, mostly because I felt (and often still do) like I had nothing to give. I had given so much to my teacher's students and my students, that there was nothing left for me. I think this is telling me to go forward with this break, take time to discover my stories so then I can share it with the world.