Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Passion Spread

I did this spread about a week ago, but things have been super crazy with photo shoots. I'm back to stressing out again (work and money stuff), so what better way to try to calm down than to do a blog about my passion.



1. What excites me at my very roots? The World
Well, this card showed up a lot last week. It's also very self-explanatory. It's freedom. It's having the ability to do what I want to do. It's the fact that I don't have a 9-5, and I work for myself. I love having the ability to be an artist, and to embrace that. I can schedule shoots for the middle of the week (though, I need to start charging once I get images back unless I'm working with an agency model) and then teach class after. I'm just not office material.

2. What supports my passion? 6 of Swords
This was a journey that I was meant to take. Losing my job, dancing a lot more, discovering my art in makeup. It's all a personal transformation for me.

3. How do I keep my passion burning hotly? 3 of Swords
Well, I just need to keep going on with my life. If I wasn't the way I am, I would be like the corpses in the snow. Not literally dead, but I think I'd be far worse than where I am. I have this huge obstacle in my way that I can't control, but I know that I just need to keep going. Eventually, the snow will stop. The sun will shine, and everything will be right in the world.

4. How do I keep it from blazing out of control? Queen of Pentacles
My queen! She's appearing everywhere. I relate to her so much, but I think Secret wants me to tap into her essence a lot more. With her, it's all about taking care to develop my passion. Don't just rush into things. Plan things carefully.

When I add up the numbers, what do I get? dun Dun DUN! The Empress. Definitely not a coincidence. I guess 2010 is shaping up to be the coming of age for me.

Unrelated note, for people who are wondering about the photographer... We had a nice 3-hour phone conversation last night. I told him that our relationship has gone beyond work, and that I feel comfortable being vulnerable with him. He feels comfortable being vulnerable with me too. Baby steps.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Beauty Spread

I'm such a girly-girl. I saw the Your Beauty spread on Aeclectic Tarot, and I just had to work with it. It took a couple of attempts to get it the right feel for it, but I think this time it worked.

5  6
3  7
2  8
4  9

1. This represents yourself. 4 of Swords

I am often trapped by the past. I have a desire to move on and embrace whatever is in store for me, but then the feelings of getting emotionally burned creep into my spirit. As a result of that, I just stay in my shell. I never truly express what I want and who I am. It's the drawback to having a Venus in Cancer. That or Secret was telling me that I needed to go to bed.  

2. This represents your beauty. 8 of Swords

There is a vulnerability to my beauty. It yearns to shine, but it's scared to. Of course this ties into the 4 of Swords. Being burned from the past just wants my beauty to shy away and be invisible. At the same time, it does want to be able to come forth and be present, but it doesn't want to get hurt again.

3. What your beauty consist of. Strength

I think that there is an inner strength to my beauty that I have yet to embrace. I will be able to bring out the best in myself and the best in others.

4. What your beauty can offer others. 5 of Wands

I have absolutely no idea what this means in regards to what it can offer other people. I'll have people fighting over me? I wish...

5. How you see your beauty. The World

I'm beginning to acknowledge that I'm me. I'm flawed in many ways, and that's what makes me beautiful. I used to cringe at seeing my stretch marks, my bad skin, or my surgery scar, but I can't change that. It's better to let them be a part of me than to spend time hating myself over it. Now that I'm thinking about my view of the card while writing this out, I think back to the photo shoot I did in the park. It was so freeing, it was so amazing. I felt beautiful.

6. How others see your beauty. Knave of Pentacles

There are women out there who are just so beautiful and striking that they're almost unapproachable. I can't really think of a woman who's like that, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I... am not one of those women. That's not to say that I'm putting myself down. It's more like, there's a practical approach. People see that I don't wear makeup except for when I dance, and that adds a humanistic, for lack of a better term, approach. My beauty doesn't intimidate others.

7. Why people are intimidated by your beauty. Queen of Cups

I think people are intimidated by my beauty because it's disarming. I seem to have this ability to draw stories out of people. As much as I like to talk about myself, I think people open up to me and express their feelings to me. It reminds me of this book called the Passion Principle by Donna LeBlanc, where the author categorizes people into the Lover, Creator, Warrior, Visionary, and Prophet. I most identified with the Creator, as someone who tends to be the shoulder to cry on and focuses so much on other people at the expense of my own needs. The Pisces Moon allows me to feel other people's energy, and I think people may get freaked out by that.

8. What your beauty wants you to know. Queen of Pentacles

My beauty wants me to stay true to myself, but I also need to take care of my body. I need to work out more. Take care of my home. I definitely need to go out into nature a lot more as well. Sometimes, walking around the neighborhood makes a whole world of difference.

9. How your beauty will remain at old age. Queen of Swords

It looks like, I'll have to learn about different beauty regimens to keep my youthful appearance and vitality. 

The first thing that struck me was that three of the four queens came out. It's also quite telling that the Queen of Wands didn't appear. It's because I'm the least like her. I don't have that certain energy that Queen possesses. Even though she's hunched over, she still has a presence about her. If I see her, I know that I have to pay attention to her. The others have a different presence about them. The Queen of Cups doesn't appear much, but I relate to her in a way that I lack with the Queen of Wands.

Monday, March 15, 2010

New Moon Reading

We are now in the New Moon while it's void of coursing. Bye Pisces, my lunar sign. Hello, Aries!


1. What lays on your dark depths. What is unseen. What we stumble against in the dark nights. 6 of Swords

I think this has to do with a personal transformation that relates to my shadow card. I am not a Knight of Wands by any stretch of the imagination, but if I do this one thing that the Knight of Wands would do, it could be the spark of something new.

2. What will begin to show, to arise. 9 of Cups

Hmmm... This is my artist card. It hasn't come up in a while, but when it does I'm usually feeling fabulous, sensual, and sexy (I haven't been feeling like either of these, nor have I been artistically focused). Maybe this will be the time to be a little self-indulgent and get some pretty little things for myself.

3. What will illuminate the dark path. The key in the night. 2 of Cups

Secret is being all smart-assey with me right now. He knows that's the kind of card (the Knave of Cups applies to this as well) that scares the hell out of me because I do not want to get my hopes up about the photographer.

0. Yourself. Shadow card from the base of the deck. Knight of Wands

I don't really identify with this knight all that much. I think this is Secret's way of saying that I should begin to embrace the daring and somewhat reckless side of myself. It makes sense that Secret would say that because as much as I would love to do certain things, especially when it comes to the opposite sex, I hesitate and think of a million reasons under the sun not to do it.

Err... I guess Secret recommends that I ask this boy out already.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Palette of Creative Possibilities

I found this absolutely amazing spread on called the Palette of Creative Possibilities. Considering that I'm feeling very artistic but having major difficulties in choosing how to express it (wanting to dance, to design costumes for dance and Burning Man, to do makeup etc.), it was just a great spread to find. I'm not even going to attempt recreating the layout on here, but you can see it on the link.

1. The grip: What hold does the creative process have on me at this time? The World

Wow. What a card to appear as the very first card. This card is about my freedom of expression. For the longest time, I felt like I couldn't do that, but now I may actually have the opportunity to do so. It's quite amazing to be able to be free to dance and to do art. It's the place that makes me the happiest.

2. My brushes: How can I best utilize the tools at hand? The Star

It's about trusting in my skills. It's trusting in my abilities. Once I do that, I can develop my creativity even further. I have to trust in my years of dance. Trust that I've learned a lot in makeup and that I still have a lot to learn.

3. Primary color: What sparks my creative impulses? The Lovers

It's what my soul needs. I don't choose when the spark happens. It just does. It's a tug in my gut that I can't ignore. I don't always act on this impulse, but it's so overwhelming actually.

4. Secondary color: What fuels my motivation? 8 of Pentacles

I have a desire to make it perfect. I want it to be clean and polished while allowing my art to express my point of view. I also have a never-ending desire to learn. I'm willing to clean brushes all day if it means that I can learn techniques from a great MUA. I love taking dance workshops and being a student. It's like, yes, I've been belly dancing for over eight years, but I love the feeling of being a complete beginner with the frustrations and all (I think a Suhaila workshop is next on my list).

5. Tertiary color: What drives my long-term commitment to the project? The Hanged Man

I'm giving myself to the universe, and for that moment when I'm on the stage or working on a face or in a sketchbook I'm in a vulnerable place. I've been feeling more that when I do an emotionally meaningful piece, I'm reaching something/one that's beyond my scope of understanding.

6. Painting medium: What can I add to extend and develop my creativity to bring it to a finished result? 8 of Swords

One of the gripes that I have when I see a lot of dancers, especially in tribal fusion, is that I see the technique and the tricks in the movement, but it often misses that something extra. That thing that draws me in and lets me join in on the experience. When I perform, I often wonder if I'm resting on my laurels, and not truly engaging the audience. At the same time, it's scary to be that vulnerable that I just want to show the technique and tricks. I have to endure the really scary aspect of my dance in order to take it to a higher place.

I'm going to sum up this reading in two words: Holy shit! Four majors, and a pair of 8s. Aeclectic Tarot's definition of the 8s involves courage and transformation. It's about having the strength to make change. Wow, how very telling, indeed. I also added up the numbers of the Majors which came to 11 - Justice, and reduced to the High Priestess. Justice is saying that I spent a good portion of my life doing one thing, while denying a part of myself that really wanted to come out. I guess the lay-off has allowed for that other part to come back. The High Priestess is showing me how I can do this while being in the current place I'm in.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Personal Year Spread

YAY! I'm back home from Vegas. Actually, I got in at 8:45 yesterday morning, then stayed at my mom's apartment for half the day. Two days is actually the perfect amount of time to be there. Despite the fact that I played poker in college, I don't really like to gamble much. The hotels on the strip are basically over-sized malls filled with stores that I can find at home. The highlight was seeing Cirque du Soleil's Ka. Absolutely moving artistically.

Now, enough about my time in Vegas. On to spreads! I had to work with Secret and Mermaids once I got home. This spread I found on Aecletic Tarot called the Personal Year spread. Considering that we are in the year of the Empress, and that's my personality and soul card, it was fitting to do it.

3             5
2             6

S: The Empress

1. What do I bring to this current cycle? 10 of Cups

Despite everything that has gone on in the past year, I'm still maintaining a positive outlook on life. It has been such a major upgrade from the place I was last year.

2. What is this cycle's beneficial influence? 7 of Cups

I have this need to do so many different things, but I don't know where to begin. I want to take art classes, go back to the gym, pole dance, choreograph, do yoga, meditate, create my altar... All of that usually happens while I'm in bed.

3. What blocks or oppostions do I need to be aware of? The Magician

I may be so focused on myself and what I want that I may not see the big picture. Sometimes, it's just not all about me.

4. What area of my life will be most influenced by this cycle? Ace of Wands

It's creative bursts. It's having the ability to be artistic and creative.

5. What do I need to learn during this cycle? 3 of Wands

I need to learn to create opportunities for myself instead of sitting around and waiting for things to happen.

6. How can I incorporate these lessons into my life? 8 of Swords

I just need to stop with the indecisiveness and self-doubt. That kind of thinking will lead me nowhere.

7. What will be the most likely result at the end of this cycle? Queen of Pentacles

I identify with this queen the most of the four in Secret. I think it's allowing myself to be even more nurturing in my career (dance and makeup), and continue to develop my skills.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Viva Las Vegas!

I'll be heading to Las Vegas tomorrow to dance. I asked Secret and Mermaids if they wanted to come with me, and neither one wanted to go! They're such homebodies. They're so used to the comfort of my bed, they don't want to leave it. I wonder what I'll do with them when it comes to Burning Man. As much as I would love to have my intuitive companions with me, I'm so protective of them. I don't want anything to happen to them during that time, especially since BM is pure craziness.

I'll be back on Saturday!