New Moon Reading

I haven't written on the blog in a hot minute. Sorry! I'm here though, and it's time for the New Moon Spread.

1. What lays on your dark depths. What is unseen. What we stumble against in the dark nights. Knave of Cups

Okay, Secret is just being mean right now. I swear, he likes seeing me squirm. I'm sure most people know of my interest in a certain photographer, and I feel like I've just made misstep after misstep. It's to the point where I want to beat him over the head and tell him that I want to go out on a date with him, but that's just not the way to do it. I don't know what to do anymore...  

2. What will begin to show, to arise. The Chariot

I can sum up my feelings about this card in one word: Huh? No, really. I don't understand what Secret is trying to tell me (rather, I'm sure I understand what he's trying to say, but my conscious self is blocking it). This is one of those moments where I feel like the Bride when she's trying to break that block of wood up close and she just gets a banged up hand for her efforts.

3. What will illuminate the dark path. The key in the night. Knave of Swords

This is the problem solver card. If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's coming up with a plan to get out of a bad situation. Of course, when that involves members of the opposite sex, I just retreat into myself and put a wall up.

0. Yourself. Shadow card from the base of the deck. 9 of Pentacles

Whoever this woman is, I am not her. I don't feel like her under any stretch of the imagination. I can see the retreating element, but it's not a pleasurable retreat. 

Recurring Cards...

Oh, my beautiful Knave of Cups. My friend, my loyal companion. Why must you torment me so? You have come to me nearly everyday for the past two weeks. Clearly, there's something that you want me to do that I'm not doing. There's a message in your cup that I'm apparently not getting. What is it that you're trying to tell me?

I did two spreads on this, and I think both really related well to each other. Both spreads required 5 cards. Now, onto reading 1.

1. This card does not mean this!... 4 of Swords

Clearly, this means that I should not sit around and wait for something to happen.

2. ...And this won't help! Strength

Being a coward about the whole thing will not help.

3. This card does mean this!... 3 of Wands

There's a new opportunity and potential for love in store for you.

4. ...And this will help! Queen of Wands

But you have to embrace this side of yourself in order to make this happen. You must be her. Be passionate. Make yourself stand out.

5. What will I learn from understanding this card? 2 of Wands

You have to make a decision about what you want to do. Have courage to take that next step, and it will be the right one for you.

Here's the second reading.

1. Who are you? 8 of Swords

I'm not a person, per se, but rather an idea. You have been at this impasse between wanting to do something yet holding back. You don't want to get hurt, but you have to allow yourself the vulnerability to do so.

2. Why are you appearing? King of Wands

How fitting that the Queen and King appear? I definitely identify with him very well, and he represents the charming side to me. I think this is his way of saying, that I have an ability to draw people in, take advantage of that.

3. What is your significance? Knight of Cups

From a child to a teenager. I think the knave is saying that he wants to grow, but it's up to me to make it happen.

4. Where will I meet you? The Empress

I don't know about this one. This is more because I am the Empress and she is me. I think it will be in the situation where I actually embrace the Queen of Wands, that I will meet the Empress.

5. Have I met you? King of Pentacles

I'm taking that answer as a yes.

Portrait Spread

I found this lovely spread on Aeclectic Tarot, and I thought it would be great to do it. I love to compile spreads and out them in my journal. Some I'll actually do, others I'll observe and try to understand what Secret is telling me. The brackets indicate that the card is laid out horizontally.

           6

4                   5

          [1]
       
           2

          [3]

1. This is how I see the world. This is what I see. The Magician

I see potential. I see this budding energy that's just waiting to take the world by storm. I feel like there's a budding energy that's waiting to explode.

2. This is what I smell, this is where I'm following my nose to. Knave of Cups

I took this position as if I were a pointer or a bloodhound. What am I latching onto as a guide for me. Now, I love this knave. He is so sweet and gentle, and I smile every time I see him. He is my favorite of the four. That being said, he scares the shit out of me. Why? I don't want to be set up for disappointment. He comes with a message of potential love and romance. I'm not even speculating who at this point, but considering what I want now, I hope he's not playing games with me.

3. This is how I talk. This is how I communicate. 7 of Pentacles

At first I was wondering what Secret was trying to say about it, but it just hit me. When I first meet people, I tend to take a step back and assess where I am and how people approach each other before I put myself out there. I'm very shy and guarded in the beginning, but it really doesn't take a long time before I become a chatterbox.

4. This is what I hear others say about me. 9 of Wands

My first instinct seeing this card is about loneliness. I think people realize that as open as I am about a lot of things, I still keep so much of myself very private, and that they often don't see the "real" me (whoever she is).

5. This is what I hear myself say about myself. The Devil

This is very accurate. I'm constantly putting myself down. Once a negative thought comes into my head, it just keeps going and going. It starts with one thing then just keeps going. I can't watch myself in videos because the first thoughts are about my body, and then it just escalates into my abilities as a dancer and choreographer. I beat myself up a lot.

6. This is how I think; this is my perception of the world. Temperance

I try to look to the outside world to find balance. I'm looking to nature for its healing energy and power. I try to be open to new opportunities.

C for Creativity

This was another spread that I found on Aeclectic Tarot. It's such a simple spread, but I love it. I thought it was very accurate for me.

     1
2
     3

1. What is my art skill? Knave of Cups

I think this is a very accurate card to come out. Artistically, I'm a jack of all trades, master of none (except for dance and makeup), so my skill is in my imagination. I love visualizing, creating stories and images in my head. I'm such a day dreamer. It drives me crazy sometimes because I have difficulty making it real.

2. Where do I need to focus on developing my art skill? Queen of Pentacles

She's me, of course. I think it's actually taking the time to nurture my skills. I need to practice everyday. I'll get better the more I actually do it.

3. What will I gain from this art experience? The Sun

I will gain a sense of peace and harmony when I allow myself to enjoy the art experience. I think being an artist is something that I really am but wasn't allowed to develop because it's not becoming. It's great as a hobby, not as a profession or way of life.

New Acquaintance Spread

We're in February! YAY! The sucky part is that now I really need to find a job before I'm truly screwed. In the mean time I found this spread on Aeclectic Tarot about New Acquaintances. I opted to try it out to see what will come of this new acquaintance. We have a very strong working relationship so far, and I'll be damned if I didn't have a crush on him. I decided to work with Mermaids on this one. She's good with relationship stuff.

1. Who is he/she? 8 of Pentacles

This is the workhorse card, and that describes him well. He's a very creative spirit, quite proficient in the arts. He's also someone who pays attention to detail. Very meticulous indeed.

2. What are his/her intentions? Temperance

This was a good card to see. He does bring this sense of balance that's not as black and white as Justice (he's a Libra). He was a guide during my photo shoot, giving me things to help me stay focused when I was starting to get tired. He's someone who I can turn to as I develop my skill and build my portfolio,

3. What can the acquaintanceship lead to? Knave of Chalices

Hmmm... How interesting. I feel like we're going to be collaborating a lot. At the same time, I feel like there's something underneath the surface of that water, but we're so very shy about making that move.

4. Good advice/what I need to be aware of. Queen of Pentacles

Clearly, this queen is me. I had a discussion with a friend over this, and he said that this meant that I should trust my gut and take the plunge in asking him for a least coffee to gauge where the chemistry is. I need to push past my mental doubts and just go for it. It's funny because of the four queens, I feel the strongest connection to her.

5. Probable outcome. 10 of Chalices

Clearly, Mermaids is saying that I should nudge it along and ask him out for coffee because something great will happen. I have this tendency to just sit back and let the doubt sink in and not trust my intuition. If I actually do something about this, then we'll have a nice bond. After all, we established a good rapport very early on, and since then it's gotten better.

Would love to know your thoughts!

Daily Reading for 1/27

1. What I did well: Knave of Cups

The photo shoot went well albeit it was very weird. I was allowing myself to portray the message of sensuality that the photographer wanted.

2. What I must leave behind: 7 of Wands

I was losing my patience with the photographer because he was on that line of being a photographer with a great idea and being a GWC. I think I was seriously about to rip his head off.

3. What I must take with me into tomorrow: The Hierophant

Now the teacher must return. I had my day off, and it's back to class and people are looking to me and my director for guidance for the upcoming show.

Daily Reading for 1/23

1. What I did well today: The High Priestess

I didn't let my internal struggles affect the way I taught class even though teaching was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to keep a good face on and not let my negative energy affect the class and my students.

2. What I must leave behind: Knave of Cups

I must let go of any lingering resentment that I'm feeling. It's time to move forward and be positive.

3. What I must take forward into tomorrow: 3 of Wands

Tomorrow is a new day. Just embrace whatever opportunities that come my way.

I tried the name spread that was on AE. It was a lovely 20-card spread, that I just wrote out in one sentence. It's a neat spread, but it told me what I already knew about myself. I've been looking for spreads that dug deeper. I had a conversation with Kafka's Ghost about it, she suggested choosing the card that I identified strongly with and then have cards around it. It was quite useful. I'll put up the readings later today.