Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Birthday Spread

So, it was my birthday last Sunday. Here's the birthday spread, courtesy of Aeclectic Tarot. There were so many 9-card spreads, I was actually really happy to find this one.

1   2   3   4

1. You. At this time, in this place. Page of Wands. I am a creative spirit, feeling this urge to write, draw, dance. You name it, I want to do it. Most importantly, like him, I want to experience. Experience that wind he's feeling on his fingertip.

2. Opportunities that are coming up. 7 of Pentacles. Patience. I have been very slow and methodical about my process, it will all be worth it. Soon, I'll be able to reap the rewards of my work. I don't know when, I don't know how. All I know is that it will come.

3 Challenges that are coming up. 2 of Swords. This is about developing my ability to compromise. I'm a huge control freak, and I like getting things my way. I need to learn how to see the other side of the same coin in order to break free from impasses.

4. Gift or guidance. The Lovers. Always follow my heart. It may be scary to do so, but in the end it will worth it.

5. Wish or goal for the upcoming year. The Tower. The Tower has been popping up a lot. I've been feeling like something big is going to happen, but a welcome upheaval. Something in my spirit has been focusing on mothering. Mothering what? I don't know. Definitely not an actual child, though.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Happy Solstice!

In the spirit of the Solstice and my birthday (on Father's Day, and I'm 30-4), I do have two spreads to share, but I'm starting with the Bodhran Solstice spread from Aeclectic Tarot.

4  The Sun  3

1. During the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, more light is available to us. What in my life has been in shadow, that I need to shine a bright light on so I can see it clearly for what it is? Ace of Swords.

I have a tendency to be impulsive. I act without thinking, and it sometimes gets me into trouble. It definitely happens when I talk. I will inadvertently say the wrong thing without realizing it, and then I'm like "Oh, shit! Did I really say that?" I just need to take a step back and think clearly. Writing has helped with that immensely.

2. The word "solstice" comes from the Latin "sol" (meaning sun) and "sistere" (meaning to cause to stand still). What in my life am I trying to force into happening when instead I need to be still and patient? Temperance.

Lately I've been on this "work hard, party hard" thing. I've been consumed with dance and makeup for the past month that when I have this time to let loose and relax I go crazy (no drugs, I promise). Staying out until crazy hours, especially. I've found that it's just not working for me. It's just making me even more tired when all I need is that release. I think I just need to not do anything and let the release happen.

3. The Summer Solstice is often called "Midsummer" because it is roughly in the middle of the growing season. What in my life is fertile and productive now? Where are my opportunities for growth? The Fool.

This is a fun card to see. I've had been dealing with some personal issues, feeling like I had been stuck in this limbo. I was uncertain of what to do or where I was going in everything. I had a brief fling that ended a week before my birthday, and I had to dance the very day it ended (not thrilled to do so). The guy told me to dance for myself because I had to deal with all these emotions and the fact that another guy I had hooked up with was going to be there. I actually took his advice, and it was the most free I've ever felt in a long time. I truly did feel in the aftermath that something new was going to happen and that I needed to embrace what comes.

4. After Summer Solstice, the days gradually become shorter, and the sun's strength wanes as winter approaches. What is waning in my life? What do I need to release? 3 of Cups.

Ahhh, yes. The cards picked up on something that I've been thinking about doing. I've been considering taking a hiatus from performing, mostly because I felt (and often still do) like I had nothing to give. I had given so much to my teacher's students and my students, that there was nothing left for me. I think this is telling me to go forward with this break, take time to discover my stories so then I can share it with the world.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Queen of Wands - Random Thoughts

Of all of the queens, she has been my biggest nemesis. Every time she pops up in a spread, I groan because I say to myself, that woman is not me and I am not that woman. I've identified mostly with the Queen of Pentacles (I really am such a nurturing person, that's the Venus in Cancer) and to a lesser extent the Queen of Swords (when I'm in a pissy mood). I see the QoW as a woman with such a powerful spirit. When she walks into a room, everyone sees her. She's charming, energetic, and seductive. All of the things I thought I wasn't. Turns out, we're more alike than I ever realized.

Although I'm just now coming to this realization, I've thought about this over this past weekend especially since QoW came out as my shadow card during the Full Moon. On one of my little weekend dance party sprees, a guy I was snuggly with (the Devil in full effect!) told me that I have this magnetic energy, that I have this ability to draw people in. He sees it when I dance, and he saw it when I was having a conversation with another guy in the Cuddle Puddle. He even said that he hates it when I'm self-deprecating because of this magnetism, and that I should own my power.

Last night, I was at another party solo which was awesome for two reasons: 1) I got to finally meet Ikonika (amazing dubstep DJ) after sending my choreography to her over a year ago and 2) I get to dance. It was so inspiring to be in the presence of another artist I respect, and to be able to dance freely while she spun. It was another situation where I got approached by guys who noticed my dancing. I didn't do anything but dance and get really sweaty. More importantly, it was to allow myself to dance without caring what people thought.

I usually spend my time blissfully unaware about stuff like this, but now that I'm really trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me inside, I can see how she plays into my life. Originally, I was going to say that the QoW is the first queen that people encounter, but that's an overly simplified view since there are so many layers to her. She's my creative energy as well as being my social butterfly.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Full Moon

I'm back! Here's my first spread in quite some time. What else would it be other than the Full Moon Spread?

1. What can be seen with clarity, so bright that it can even blind you. The High Priestess

I started working with a book called Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Bonner. It's an interesting book so far, and I'm writing to my Voice (or Spirit Guide). I guess you can say it's therapy without actually going to a therapist, and I feel like I've been reaching into my unconscious self. It's amazing to see what has been able to come out as I write. Things that I used to think weren't a big deal turn out to be a big deal, for example. I think my main spirit guide is happy that I'm doing this. I think she even helped me find the right journal for this endeavor (I Hope You Dance was on the cover).  

2. What gets completed. What closes a cycle. 8 of Pentacles

I think this has to do with me as a makeup artist. It's having the opportunity to learn so much from amazing artists like Kathy Aragon, Johnny Lavoy, and Jon Hennessey, and being able to apply that to my craft to become a better artist.

3. What begins to fade away, to abandon you...or what needs to be. 4 of Wands

I think the carefree life is close to coming to an end. I'll need to have at least a part-time job to support my makeup career, and to fund my travels. I have to think in long term, although I usually am incapable of thinking beyond tomorrow.

0. Yourself. Shadow card, from the base of the deck. Queen of Wands

Hmm. This is interesting, because I don't really identify with her. I think she represents the creative side of myself that's really struggling to be released right now. That's the only thing I can really think of.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I live! I'm so sorry for not updating the blog. There are so many different facets of my life that has taken a hold, and now I have a little bit of breathing room. I have been reading my cards, both Secret and Dream Enchantress, and I definitely have some spreads that I can't wait to post.


Friday, May 7, 2010

The Artist Spread

Wow, I haven't written in a hot minute. It's been super crazy with my part time job and with dancing. I basically work, dance, eat, shower, and sleep. This is the first time I've had a day off to just sit around and do nothing in a while, so... time for a new spread.

I remember putting this spread in my journal as one of the spreads that I would love to use. When I saw Super-Frog's entry about the Artist Spread, and it was something that I needed. I've been in such a rut creatively, and I feel like I've lost my voice (my massage therapist noted that there was tension in my jaw). I thought it would be a good spread to do. I used Dream Enchantress with it.


1. How the past affects the future. 10 of Swords
I have some demons that I'm currently battling right now, and it's affecting my ability to express myself. I had a situation where someone close to me had made a comment about a new costume that I'm certain came out the wrong way, and it affected what I did when I was on the stage. I just wanted to go home and never perform in it again.

2. How the project affects you right now. Ace of Swords
I do have ideas floating around. Nothing solid yet, but I have some things going. I think I just have to be patient about it, and it will come.

3. How to begin the project. 3 of Swords
I think I have to take the time to focus. I often have so many ideas swirling around my head that nothing ends up getting done. I should take one thing, and spend the time to work on it. If I don't, nothing gets done at all.

4. How to continue the project. Queen of Cups
I have to allow myself the ability to embrace my emotions. That's the only way I'll be able to get any project going. I've found in my dance that the emotions do play a huge difference in how I feel when I'm performing.

5. How to finish the project. 7 of Cups
Let me just say right now, this is my absolute favorite card among all decks I have. It's so beautiful, I'm just filled with calm when I see it. I have to mother my project. Encourage it to develop, then set it free. Let it go out into the universe. 

6. How to share the project in a way that will lead to... 3 of Wands
I just simply have to perform it. I have to allow myself to be vulnerable by putting it out there into the world.

7. ...the future. 6 of Swords
I'll find a higher sense of being, a new place in my journey. It makes sense because in order to move on, I'll need to kill whatever is holding me hostage creatively.

Monday, April 26, 2010

New Deck Interview: Dream Enchantress

My deck collection has now reached 9! How crazy is that? I don't use most of the decks I have because most are beyond my skill of reading, but with KG's help I did some new deck interviews with Thoth and Sexual Magic. I actually did Dream Enchantress a few nights ago, but I wanted this to be first because I feel a strong connection to it. Almost similar to my connection with Secret (any coincidence that both were done by the same artist, I think not). On with the interview!

1. Tell me a little bit about yourself. What is your most important characteristic? 4 of Swords

I am a deck you can confide in. You can trust me with your secrets and your thoughts, and I'll be able to tell you what I think.

2. What are your strengths as a deck? King of Swords

I will tell you what you need to know, not necessarily what you want to know.

3. What are your limits as a deck? 6 of Pentacles

I guess, you could say my strength is also my weakness. I'm not the most giving of decks. As I said before, I'll give you what you need to know.

4. What do you bring to the table - what are you here to teach me? Strength

I want you to be confident in your abilities with me. I know I seem overwhelming because I'm not a deck for beginners, but I'll be here to guide you as you enter my world.

5. How can I best learn from and collaborate with you? 5 of Pentacles

Look beyond my appearance. You will find a richness and depth that will be most fulfilling to you.

6. What will be the outcome of our working relationship? 10 of Pentacles

I think we're going to work well together. You will find a sense of wholeness with me.