tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50269180178757235262024-03-12T19:51:09.776-07:00Secret TarotPersonal Deck Reflection on Secret TarotDancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-80675930376832929972010-06-29T11:39:00.000-07:002010-06-29T11:39:10.658-07:00Birthday SpreadSo, it was my birthday last Sunday. Here's the birthday spread, courtesy of Aeclectic Tarot. There were so many 9-card spreads, I was actually really happy to find this one.<br />
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5<br />
1 2 3 4<br />
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1. You. At this time, in this place. <b>Page of Wands</b>. I am a creative spirit, feeling this urge to write, draw, dance. You name it, I want to do it. Most importantly, like him, I want to experience. Experience that wind he's feeling on his fingertip.<br />
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2. Opportunities that are coming up. <b>7 of Pentacles</b>. Patience. I have been very slow and methodical about my process, it will all be worth it. Soon, I'll be able to reap the rewards of my work. I don't know when, I don't know how. All I know is that it will come.<br />
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3 Challenges that are coming up. <b>2 of Swords</b>. This is about developing my ability to compromise. I'm a huge control freak, and I like getting things my way. I need to learn how to see the other side of the same coin in order to break free from impasses.<br />
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4. Gift or guidance. <b>The Lovers</b>. Always follow my heart. It may be scary to do so, but in the end it will worth it.<br />
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5. Wish or goal for the upcoming year. <b>The Tower</b>. The Tower has been popping up a lot. I've been feeling like something big is going to happen, but a welcome upheaval. Something in my spirit has been focusing on mothering. Mothering what? I don't know. Definitely not an actual child, though.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-57952040504651407892010-06-22T22:08:00.000-07:002010-06-22T22:08:37.101-07:00Happy Solstice!In the spirit of the Solstice and my birthday (on Father's Day, and I'm 30-4), I do have two spreads to share, but I'm starting with the Bodhran Solstice spread from Aeclectic Tarot.<br />
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1<br />
4 The Sun 3<br />
2<br />
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1. During the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, more light is available to us. What in my life has been in shadow, that I need to shine a bright light on so I can see it clearly for what it is?<b> Ace of Swords</b>.<br />
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I have a tendency to be impulsive. I act without thinking, and it sometimes gets me into trouble. It definitely happens when I talk. I will inadvertently say the wrong thing without realizing it, and then I'm like "Oh, shit! Did I really say that?" I just need to take a step back and think clearly. Writing has helped with that immensely. <br />
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2. The word "solstice" comes from the Latin "sol" (meaning sun) and "sistere" (meaning to cause to stand still). What in my life am I trying to force into happening when instead I need to be still and patient?<b> Temperance</b>. <br />
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Lately I've been on this "work hard, party hard" thing. I've been consumed with dance and makeup for the past month that when I have this time to let loose and relax I go crazy (no drugs, I promise). Staying out until crazy hours, especially. I've found that it's just not working for me. It's just making me even more tired when all I need is that release. I think I just need to not do anything and let the release happen.<br />
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3. The Summer Solstice is often called "Midsummer" because it is roughly in the middle of the growing season. What in my life is fertile and productive now? Where are my opportunities for growth?<b> The Fool</b>. <br />
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This is a fun card to see. I've had been dealing with some personal issues, feeling like I had been stuck in this limbo. I was uncertain of what to do or where I was going in everything. I had a brief fling that ended a week before my birthday, and I had to dance the very day it ended (not thrilled to do so). The guy told me to dance for myself because I had to deal with all these emotions and the fact that another guy I had hooked up with was going to be there. I actually took his advice, and it was the most free I've ever felt in a long time. I truly did feel in the aftermath that something new was going to happen and that I needed to embrace what comes.<br />
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4. After Summer Solstice, the days gradually become shorter, and the sun's strength wanes as winter approaches. What is waning in my life? What do I need to release?<b> 3 of Cups</b>. <br />
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Ahhh, yes. The cards picked up on something that I've been thinking about doing. I've been considering taking a hiatus from performing, mostly because I felt (and often still do) like I had nothing to give. I had given so much to my teacher's students and my students, that there was nothing left for me. I think this is telling me to go forward with this break, take time to discover my stories so then I can share it with the world.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-74615763017037456682010-05-31T17:40:00.000-07:002010-05-31T17:40:12.023-07:00Queen of Wands - Random ThoughtsOf all of the queens, she has been my biggest nemesis. Every time she pops up in a spread, I groan because I say to myself, that woman is not me and I am not that woman. I've identified mostly with the Queen of Pentacles (I really am such a nurturing person, that's the Venus in Cancer) and to a lesser extent the Queen of Swords (when I'm in a pissy mood). I see the QoW as a woman with such a powerful spirit. When she walks into a room, everyone sees her. She's charming, energetic, and seductive. All of the things I thought I wasn't. Turns out, we're more alike than I ever realized. <br />
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Although I'm just now coming to this realization, I've thought about this over this past weekend especially since QoW came out as my shadow card during the Full Moon. On one of my little weekend dance party sprees, a guy I was snuggly with (the Devil in full effect!) told me that I have this magnetic energy, that I have this ability to draw people in. He sees it when I dance, and he saw it when I was having a conversation with another guy in the Cuddle Puddle. He even said that he hates it when I'm self-deprecating because of this magnetism, and that I should own my power.<br />
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Last night, I was at another party solo which was awesome for two reasons: 1) I got to finally meet Ikonika (amazing dubstep DJ) after sending my choreography to her over a year ago and 2) I get to dance. It was so inspiring to be in the presence of another artist I respect, and to be able to dance freely while she spun. It was another situation where I got approached by guys who noticed my dancing. I didn't do anything but dance and get really sweaty. More importantly, it was to allow myself to dance without caring what people thought.<br />
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I usually spend my time blissfully unaware about stuff like this, but now that I'm really trying to figure out what the hell is going on with me inside, I can see how she plays into my life. Originally, I was going to say that the QoW is the first queen that people encounter, but that's an overly simplified view since there are so many layers to her. She's my creative energy as well as being my social butterfly.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-25850981581716740642010-05-27T22:26:00.000-07:002010-05-27T22:26:05.140-07:00Full MoonI'm back! Here's my first spread in quite some time. What else would it be other than the Full Moon Spread?<br />
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1. What can be seen with clarity, so bright that it can even blind you. <b>The High Priestess</b><br />
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I started working with a book called Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Bonner. It's an interesting book so far, and I'm writing to my Voice (or Spirit Guide). I guess you can say it's therapy without actually going to a therapist, and I feel like I've been reaching into my unconscious self. It's amazing to see what has been able to come out as I write. Things that I used to think weren't a big deal turn out to be a big deal, for example. I think my main spirit guide is happy that I'm doing this. I think she even helped me find the right journal for this endeavor (I Hope You Dance was on the cover). <br />
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2. What gets completed. What closes a cycle. <b>8 of Pentacles</b><br />
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I think this has to do with me as a makeup artist. It's having the opportunity to learn so much from amazing artists like Kathy Aragon, Johnny Lavoy, and Jon Hennessey, and being able to apply that to my craft to become a better artist. <br />
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3. What begins to fade away, to abandon you...or what needs to be. <b>4 of Wands</b><br />
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I think the carefree life is close to coming to an end. I'll need to have at least a part-time job to support my makeup career, and to fund my travels. I have to think in long term, although I usually am incapable of thinking beyond tomorrow.<br />
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0. Yourself. Shadow card, from the base of the deck. <b>Queen of Wands</b><br />
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Hmm. This is interesting, because I don't really identify with her. I think she represents the creative side of myself that's really struggling to be released right now. That's the only thing I can really think of.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-83872341291225951742010-05-24T19:26:00.000-07:002010-05-24T19:26:05.967-07:00I live! I'm so sorry for not updating the blog. There are so many different facets of my life that has taken a hold, and now I have a little bit of breathing room. I have been reading my cards, both Secret and Dream Enchantress, and I definitely have some spreads that I can't wait to post.<br />
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DGDancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-79460008472536491552010-05-07T22:47:00.000-07:002010-05-07T22:47:16.303-07:00The Artist SpreadWow, I haven't written in a hot minute. It's been super crazy with my part time job and with dancing. I basically work, dance, eat, shower, and sleep. This is the first time I've had a day off to just sit around and do nothing in a while, so... time for a new spread.<br />
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I remember putting this spread in my journal as one of the spreads that I would love to use. When I saw Super-Frog's entry about the Artist Spread, and it was something that I needed. I've been in such a rut creatively, and I feel like I've lost my voice (my massage therapist noted that there was tension in my jaw). I thought it would be a good spread to do. I used Dream Enchantress with it.<br />
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7<br />
6<br />
5<br />
4<br />
3<br />
2<br />
1<br />
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1. How the past affects the future. <b>10 of Swords</b><br />
I have some demons that I'm currently battling right now, and it's affecting my ability to express myself. I had a situation where someone close to me had made a comment about a new costume that I'm certain came out the wrong way, and it affected what I did when I was on the stage. I just wanted to go home and never perform in it again.<br />
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2. How the project affects you right now. <b>Ace of Swords</b><br />
I do have ideas floating around. Nothing solid yet, but I have some things going. I think I just have to be patient about it, and it will come. <br />
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3. How to begin the project. <b>3 of Swords</b><br />
I think I have to take the time to focus. I often have so many ideas swirling around my head that nothing ends up getting done. I should take one thing, and spend the time to work on it. If I don't, nothing gets done at all.<br />
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4. How to continue the project. <b>Queen of Cups</b><br />
I have to allow myself the ability to embrace my emotions. That's the only way I'll be able to get any project going. I've found in my dance that the emotions do play a huge difference in how I feel when I'm performing.<br />
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5. How to finish the project. <b>7 of Cups</b><br />
Let me just say right now, this is my absolute favorite card among all decks I have. It's so beautiful, I'm just filled with calm when I see it. I have to mother my project. Encourage it to develop, then set it free. Let it go out into the universe. <br />
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6. How to share the project in a way that will lead to... <b>3 of Wands</b><br />
I just simply have to perform it. I have to allow myself to be vulnerable by putting it out there into the world. <br />
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7. ...the future. <b>6 of Swords</b><br />
I'll find a higher sense of being, a new place in my journey. It makes sense because in order to move on, I'll need to kill whatever is holding me hostage creatively.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-55980029716021466222010-04-26T10:10:00.000-07:002010-04-26T10:10:59.540-07:00New Deck Interview: Dream EnchantressMy deck collection has now reached 9! How crazy is that? I don't use most of the decks I have because most are beyond my skill of reading, but with KG's help I did some new deck interviews with Thoth and Sexual Magic. I actually did Dream Enchantress a few nights ago, but I wanted this to be first because I feel a strong connection to it. Almost similar to my connection with Secret (any coincidence that both were done by the same artist, I think not). On with the interview!<br />
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1. Tell me a little bit about yourself. What is your most important characteristic? <b>4 of Swords</b><br />
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I am a deck you can confide in. You can trust me with your secrets and your thoughts, and I'll be able to tell you what I think.<br />
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2. What are your strengths as a deck? <b>King of Swords</b><br />
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I will tell you what you need to know, not necessarily what you want to know. <br />
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3. What are your limits as a deck? <b>6 of Pentacles</b><br />
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I guess, you could say my strength is also my weakness. I'm not the most giving of decks. As I said before, I'll give you what you need to know.<br />
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4. What do you bring to the table - what are you here to teach me? <b>Strength</b><br />
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I want you to be confident in your abilities with me. I know I seem overwhelming because I'm not a deck for beginners, but I'll be here to guide you as you enter my world. <br />
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5. How can I best learn from and collaborate with you? <b>5 of Pentacles</b><br />
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Look beyond my appearance. You will find a richness and depth that will be most fulfilling to you.<br />
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6. What will be the outcome of our working relationship? <b>10 of Pentacles</b><br />
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I think we're going to work well together. You will find a sense of wholeness with me.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-12356904884031966982010-04-20T13:14:00.000-07:002010-04-20T13:14:37.984-07:00Thoughts from DGThis was inspired my a card meditation, but it's not about the cards. It's just me spewing thoughts out.<br />
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Ever so often I get this urge, this tugging need to do something. I feel the energy tingling in my palms and it trails out to the fingers. Sometimes it's a desire to add a new tarot deck to my collection (Fey and Magical Forest being the top two on my list right now), it's a desire to add makeup to my kit (Yaby's World of Pearl Paints or the Cream Foundations), it's a desire to make art (should I draw? or dance?). More often than not, it's a combination of all three. Of course, the common thread is in the artistry. Do I want to have the decks because I'm drawn to the artwork? Do I want to be able to have more tools to utilize for my career? Do I actually just want to do art when I don't have a face to work on?<br />
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At some point in all of this, I get so overwhelmed. My brain really doesn't know where to focus because I want to do all these things at once. Ultimately, nothing happens because I don't know where to begin. I don't know how to channel my energy in a productive way. Eventually, that tingling in my fingers go away, but I don't necessarily feel any better.<br />
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I decided to do a meditation on the 3 of Swords. The card showed up earlier in the month, and again during KG's reading about the future. It's something that I need to work on in order to achieve my 9 of Chalices. There were many difference instances where the 3 of Swords makes sense in my life, but for some reason I saw the many unused sketchbooks and notebooks. Ironically enough, I was anticipating dealing with stuff about my father, but it just came back to the sketchbooks. Something pulled me out of the meditation before I could dive deeper, but it was so unusual that it was about that. What is the 3 of Swords telling me about my art?Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-58388646405020804332010-04-18T22:21:00.000-07:002010-04-18T22:21:14.958-07:00Tarotistas!I had the great pleasure of having Kafka's Ghost visit me this weekend. It was absolutely awesome spending time with her and talking about the things we love: belly dance, makeup, and tarot! There were decks we loved (Thoth, which we now call Toth, Tarot of the Secret Forest), decks we didn't love (Haindl), decks on our wishlist... She's so fantabulous!<br />
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I also had the pleasure of doing a reading for her. It was scary in the beginning because I had never done a reading for anyone other than myself (I still refer to the Tarot Bible), and I'm reading for someone who I consider a mentor. She has such a reassuring presence that it did get easier once I laid out the cards for her. The message was quite clear, and it was very easy to read. I'm very proud of myself to actually take the plunge to read for someone else, and I'm glad my first reading experience was with KG.<br />
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She also did a reading for me using her <a href="http://kafkasghoststudiestarot.wordpress.com/2010/04/08/kgs-really-awesome-9-card-spread/#comments">Really Awesome 9-Card Spread</a>, and it was so informative. The main focus of the spread turned out to be career-related, lots of Pentacles and Wands. My career, dance and makeup, are the things that I'm currently developing and nurturing. What was telling to me was that in the Future position, the 3 of Swords came up. She looked at it as an opportunity to take a look back at the past and the things that have hurt me, reconcile those things, and from there I'd achieve the 9 of Cups, satisfaction.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-62018972941709311692010-04-16T14:25:00.000-07:002010-04-16T14:25:33.644-07:00New Moon ReadingI haven't written on the blog in a hot minute. Sorry! I'm here though, and it's time for the New Moon Spread.<br />
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1. What lays on your dark depths. What is unseen. What we stumble against in the dark nights. <b>Knave of Cups</b><br />
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Okay, Secret is just being mean right now. I swear, he likes seeing me squirm. I'm sure most people know of my interest in a certain photographer, and I feel like I've just made misstep after misstep. It's to the point where I want to beat him over the head and tell him that I want to go out on a date with him, but that's just not the way to do it. I don't know what to do anymore... <b> </b><br />
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2. What will begin to show, to arise. <b>The Chariot</b><br />
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I can sum up my feelings about this card in one word: Huh? No, really. I don't understand what Secret is trying to tell me (rather, I'm sure I understand what he's trying to say, but my conscious self is blocking it). This is one of those moments where I feel like the Bride when she's trying to break that block of wood up close and she just gets a banged up hand for her efforts.<b> </b><br />
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3. What will illuminate the dark path. The key in the night. <b>Knave of Swords</b><br />
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This is the problem solver card. If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's coming up with a plan to get out of a bad situation. Of course, when that involves members of the opposite sex, I just retreat into myself and put a wall up.<b> </b><br />
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0. Yourself. Shadow card from the base of the deck. <b>9 of Pentacles</b><br />
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Whoever this woman is, I am not her. I don't feel like her under any stretch of the imagination. I can see the retreating element, but it's not a pleasurable retreat. <b> </b>Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-72844680569632013292010-04-04T22:02:00.000-07:002010-04-04T22:02:13.488-07:00Recurring Cards...Oh, my beautiful Knave of Cups. My friend, my loyal companion. Why must you torment me so? You have come to me nearly everyday for the past two weeks. Clearly, there's something that you want me to do that I'm not doing. There's a message in your cup that I'm apparently not getting. What is it that you're trying to tell me?<br />
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I did two spreads on this, and I think both really related well to each other. Both spreads required 5 cards. Now, onto reading 1. <br />
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1. This card does not mean this!... <b>4 of Swords</b><br />
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Clearly, this means that I should not sit around and wait for something to happen. <br />
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2. ...And this won't help! <b>Strength</b><br />
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Being a coward about the whole thing will not help.<br />
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3. This card does mean this!... <b>3 of Wands</b><br />
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There's a new opportunity and potential for love in store for you.<b> </b><br />
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4. ...And this will help! <b>Queen of Wands</b><br />
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But you have to embrace this side of yourself in order to make this happen. You must be her. Be passionate. Make yourself stand out.<br />
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5. What will I learn from understanding this card? <b>2 of Wands</b><br />
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You have to make a decision about what you want to do. Have courage to take that next step, and it will be the right one for you.<br />
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Here's the second reading.<br />
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1. Who are you? <b>8 of Swords</b><br />
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I'm not a person, per se, but rather an idea. You have been at this impasse between wanting to do something yet holding back. You don't want to get hurt, but you have to allow yourself the vulnerability to do so. <br />
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2. Why are you appearing? <b>King of Wands</b><br />
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How fitting that the Queen and King appear? I definitely identify with him very well, and he represents the charming side to me. I think this is his way of saying, that I have an ability to draw people in, take advantage of that.<br />
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3. What is your significance? <b>Knight of Cups</b><br />
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From a child to a teenager. I think the knave is saying that he wants to grow, but it's up to me to make it happen.<br />
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4. Where will I meet you? <b>The Empress</b><br />
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I don't know about this one. This is more because I am the Empress and she is me. I think it will be in the situation where I actually embrace the Queen of Wands, that I will meet the Empress.<br />
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5. Have I met you? <b>King of Pentacles</b><br />
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I'm taking that answer as a yes.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-36199368666928110092010-04-01T23:52:00.000-07:002010-04-01T23:52:51.024-07:00Full Moon SpreadWe're in April! YAY! More time to be outside!<br />
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I've been bad about updating the blog. Stuff in life is happening. I'm feeling the effects of Mars going direct now. Still, I had to do a Full Moon Spread.<br />
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3<br />
2<br />
1<br />
0<br />
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1. What can be seen with clarity, so bright that it can even blind you. <b>2 of Cups</b><br />
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Oh Secret... I see what you did there! It's certainly no coincidence that this was the same card that showed up in the New Moon spread. Three guesses as to what this is about. :-)<br />
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2. What gets completed, closes a cycle. <b>Knight of Pentacles</b><br />
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This was a hard one to gauge. I think this Knight is telling me that the cautious approach to life must end. It's time to just dive in head first. My plans have shifted, and I have to enjoy the journey.<b> </b><br />
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3. What begins to fade away, to abandon you, to darken....or what needs to be. <b>5 of Wands</b><br />
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I am the queen of self-sabotage, especially when I start panicking. I think this card is saying that I need to get my act together, and that sometimes I won't get things my way, but I have to continue on. I can't freak out about it. I have to deal with it and move on.<b> </b><br />
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0. Yourself. Shadow card from the base of the deck. <b>The Hermit</b><br />
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I certainly have taken more of an introspective point of view. I'm constantly trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my financial situation and my business. I'll be continuing to build my book, but a girl's gotta have a roof over her head. I'll find a way.<b> </b>Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-83259297755435405372010-03-24T20:20:00.000-07:002010-03-24T20:20:25.648-07:00The Passion SpreadI did this spread about a week ago, but things have been super crazy with photo shoots. I'm back to stressing out again (work and money stuff), so what better way to try to calm down than to do a blog about my passion.<br />
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4<br />
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3<br />
2<br />
1<br />
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1. What excites me at my very roots? <b>The World</b><br />
Well, this card showed up a lot last week. It's also very self-explanatory. It's freedom. It's having the ability to do what I want to do. It's the fact that I don't have a 9-5, and I work for myself. I love having the ability to be an artist, and to embrace that. I can schedule shoots for the middle of the week (though, I need to start charging once I get images back unless I'm working with an agency model) and then teach class after. I'm just not office material.<br />
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2. What supports my passion? <b>6 of Swords</b><br />
This was a journey that I was meant to take. Losing my job, dancing a lot more, discovering my art in makeup. It's all a personal transformation for me.<br />
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3. How do I keep my passion burning hotly? <b>3 of Swords</b><br />
Well, I just need to keep going on with my life. If I wasn't the way I am, I would be like the corpses in the snow. Not literally dead, but I think I'd be far worse than where I am. I have this huge obstacle in my way that I can't control, but I know that I just need to keep going. Eventually, the snow will stop. The sun will shine, and everything will be right in the world.<br />
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4. How do I keep it from blazing out of control? <b>Queen of Pentacles</b><br />
My queen! She's appearing everywhere. I relate to her so much, but I think Secret wants me to tap into her essence a lot more. With her, it's all about taking care to develop my passion. Don't just rush into things. Plan things carefully.<br />
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When I add up the numbers, what do I get? dun Dun DUN! <b>The Empress</b>. Definitely not a coincidence. I guess 2010 is shaping up to be the coming of age for me. <br />
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Unrelated note, for people who are wondering about the photographer... We had a nice 3-hour phone conversation last night. I told him that our relationship has gone beyond work, and that I feel comfortable being vulnerable with him. He feels comfortable being vulnerable with me too. Baby steps.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-64127881944194825842010-03-17T23:17:00.000-07:002010-03-17T23:17:33.680-07:00My Beauty SpreadI'm such a girly-girl. I saw the Your Beauty spread on Aeclectic Tarot, and I just had to work with it. It took a couple of attempts to get it the right feel for it, but I think this time it worked.<br />
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5 6<br />
3 7<br />
1<br />
2 8<br />
4 9<br />
<br />
1. This represents yourself. <b>4 of Swords</b><br />
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I am often trapped by the past. I have a desire to move on and embrace whatever is in store for me, but then the feelings of getting emotionally burned creep into my spirit. As a result of that, I just stay in my shell. I never truly express what I want and who I am. It's the drawback to having a Venus in Cancer. That or Secret was telling me that I needed to go to bed. <br />
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2. This represents your beauty. <b>8 of Swords</b><br />
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There is a vulnerability to my beauty. It yearns to shine, but it's scared to. Of course this ties into the 4 of Swords. Being burned from the past just wants my beauty to shy away and be invisible. At the same time, it does want to be able to come forth and be present, but it doesn't want to get hurt again.<br />
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3. What your beauty consist of. <b>Strength</b><br />
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I think that there is an inner strength to my beauty that I have yet to embrace. I will be able to bring out the best in myself and the best in others. <br />
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4. What your beauty can offer others. <b>5 of Wands</b><br />
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I have absolutely no idea what this means in regards to what it can offer other people. I'll have people fighting over me? I wish...<br />
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5. How you see your beauty. <b>The World</b><br />
<br />
I'm beginning to acknowledge that I'm me. I'm flawed in many ways, and that's what makes me beautiful. I used to cringe at seeing my stretch marks, my bad skin, or my surgery scar, but I can't change that. It's better to let them be a part of me than to spend time hating myself over it. Now that I'm thinking about my view of the card while writing this out, I think back to the photo shoot I did in the park. It was so freeing, it was so amazing. I felt beautiful. <br />
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6. How others see your beauty. <b>Knave of Pentacles</b><br />
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There are women out there who are just so beautiful and striking that they're almost unapproachable. I can't really think of a woman who's like that, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I... am not one of those women. That's not to say that I'm putting myself down. It's more like, there's a practical approach. People see that I don't wear makeup except for when I dance, and that adds a humanistic, for lack of a better term, approach. My beauty doesn't intimidate others. <br />
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7. Why people are intimidated by your beauty. <b>Queen of Cups</b><br />
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I think people are intimidated by my beauty because it's disarming. I seem to have this ability to draw stories out of people. As much as I like to talk about myself, I think people open up to me and express their feelings to me. It reminds me of this book called the <i>Passion Principle</i> by Donna LeBlanc, where the author categorizes people into the Lover, Creator, Warrior, Visionary, and Prophet. I most identified with the Creator, as someone who tends to be the shoulder to cry on and focuses so much on other people at the expense of my own needs. The Pisces Moon allows me to feel other people's energy, and I think people may get freaked out by that. <br />
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8. What your beauty wants you to know. <b>Queen of Pentacles</b><br />
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My beauty wants me to stay true to myself, but I also need to take care of my body. I need to work out more. Take care of my home. I definitely need to go out into nature a lot more as well. Sometimes, walking around the neighborhood makes a whole world of difference.<br />
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9. How your beauty will remain at old age. <b>Queen of Swords</b><br />
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It looks like, I'll have to learn about different beauty regimens to keep my youthful appearance and vitality. <br />
<br />
The first thing that struck me was that three of the four queens came out. It's also quite telling that the Queen of Wands didn't appear. It's because I'm the least like her. I don't have that certain energy that Queen possesses. Even though she's hunched over, she still has a presence about her. If I see her, I know that I have to pay attention to her. The others have a different presence about them. The Queen of Cups doesn't appear much, but I relate to her in a way that I lack with the Queen of Wands.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-7081690366840817542010-03-15T22:01:00.000-07:002010-03-15T22:01:06.697-07:00New Moon ReadingWe are now in the New Moon while it's void of coursing. Bye Pisces, my lunar sign. Hello, Aries!<br />
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3<br />
2<br />
1<br />
0<br />
<br />
1. What lays on your dark depths. What is unseen. What we stumble against in the dark nights. <b>6 of Swords</b><br />
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I think this has to do with a personal transformation that relates to my shadow card. I am not a Knight of Wands by any stretch of the imagination, but if I do this one thing that the Knight of Wands would do, it could be the spark of something new. <br />
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2. What will begin to show, to arise. <b>9 of Cups</b><br />
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Hmmm... This is my artist card. It hasn't come up in a while, but when it does I'm usually feeling fabulous, sensual, and sexy (I haven't been feeling like either of these, nor have I been artistically focused). Maybe this will be the time to be a little self-indulgent and get some pretty little things for myself.<br />
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3. What will illuminate the dark path. The key in the night. <b>2 of Cups</b><br />
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Secret is being all smart-assey with me right now. He knows that's the kind of card (the Knave of Cups applies to this as well) that scares the hell out of me because I do not want to get my hopes up about the photographer.<br />
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0. Yourself. Shadow card from the base of the deck. <b>Knight of Wands</b><br />
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I don't really identify with this knight all that much. I think this is Secret's way of saying that I should begin to embrace the daring and somewhat reckless side of myself. It makes sense that Secret would say that because as much as I would love to do certain things, especially when it comes to the opposite sex, I hesitate and think of a million reasons under the sun not to do it.<br />
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Err... I guess Secret recommends that I ask this boy out already.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-84624706455775583702010-03-09T12:52:00.000-08:002010-03-09T12:52:16.305-08:00Palette of Creative PossibilitiesI found this absolutely amazing spread <a href="http://www.tarotpassages.com/Pages2/2002junesprd.htm">on TarotPassages.com</a> called the Palette of Creative Possibilities. Considering that I'm feeling very artistic but having major difficulties in choosing how to express it (wanting to dance, to design costumes for dance and Burning Man, to do makeup etc.), it was just a great spread to find. I'm not even going to attempt recreating the layout on here, but you can see it on the link.<br />
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1. The grip: What hold does the creative process have on me at this time? <b>The World</b><br />
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Wow. What a card to appear as the very first card. This card is about my freedom of expression. For the longest time, I felt like I couldn't do that, but now I may actually have the opportunity to do so. It's quite amazing to be able to be free to dance and to do art. It's the place that makes me the happiest.<br />
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2. My brushes: How can I best utilize the tools at hand? <b>The Star</b><br />
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It's about trusting in my skills. It's trusting in my abilities. Once I do that, I can develop my creativity even further. I have to trust in my years of dance. Trust that I've learned a lot in makeup and that I still have a lot to learn.<br />
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3. Primary color: What sparks my creative impulses? <b>The Lovers</b><br />
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It's what my soul needs. I don't choose when the spark happens. It just does. It's a tug in my gut that I can't ignore. I don't always act on this impulse, but it's so overwhelming actually. <br />
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4. Secondary color: What fuels my motivation? <b>8 of Pentacles</b><br />
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I have a desire to make it perfect. I want it to be clean and polished while allowing my art to express my point of view. I also have a never-ending desire to learn. I'm willing to clean brushes all day if it means that I can learn techniques from a great MUA. I love taking dance workshops and being a student. It's like, yes, I've been belly dancing for over eight years, but I love the feeling of being a complete beginner with the frustrations and all (I think a Suhaila workshop is next on my list).<br />
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5. Tertiary color: What drives my long-term commitment to the project? <b>The Hanged Man</b><br />
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I'm giving myself to the universe, and for that moment when I'm on the stage or working on a face or in a sketchbook I'm in a vulnerable place. I've been feeling more that when I do an emotionally meaningful piece, I'm reaching something/one that's beyond my scope of understanding.<br />
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6. Painting medium: What can I add to extend and develop my creativity to bring it to a finished result? <b>8 of Swords</b><br />
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One of the gripes that I have when I see a lot of dancers, especially in tribal fusion, is that I see the technique and the tricks in the movement, but it often misses that something extra. That thing that draws me in and lets me join in on the experience. When I perform, I often wonder if I'm resting on my laurels, and not truly engaging the audience. At the same time, it's scary to be that vulnerable that I just want to show the technique and tricks. I have to endure the really scary aspect of my dance in order to take it to a higher place.<br />
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I'm going to sum up this reading in two words: Holy shit! Four majors, and a pair of 8s. Aeclectic Tarot's definition of the 8s involves courage and transformation. It's about having the strength to make change. Wow, how very telling, indeed. I also added up the numbers of the Majors which came to 11 - Justice, and reduced to the High Priestess. Justice is saying that I spent a good portion of my life doing one thing, while denying a part of myself that really wanted to come out. I guess the lay-off has allowed for that other part to come back. The High Priestess is showing me how I can do this while being in the current place I'm in.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-19978859128438413312010-03-07T11:35:00.000-08:002010-03-07T11:36:01.076-08:00Personal Year SpreadYAY! I'm back home from Vegas. Actually, I got in at 8:45 yesterday morning, then stayed at my mom's apartment for half the day. Two days is actually the perfect amount of time to be there. Despite the fact that I played poker in college, I don't really like to gamble much. The hotels on the strip are basically over-sized malls filled with stores that I can find at home. The highlight was seeing Cirque du Soleil's Ka. Absolutely moving artistically.<br />
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Now, enough about my time in Vegas. On to spreads! I had to work with Secret and Mermaids once I got home. This spread I found on Aecletic Tarot called the Personal Year spread. Considering that we are in the year of the Empress, and that's my personality and soul card, it was fitting to do it.<br />
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4<br />
3 5<br />
S/1<br />
2 6<br />
7<br />
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S: The Empress<br />
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1. What do I bring to this current cycle? <b>10 of Cups</b><br />
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Despite everything that has gone on in the past year, I'm still maintaining a positive outlook on life. It has been such a major upgrade from the place I was last year.<br />
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2. What is this cycle's beneficial influence? <b>7 of Cups</b><br />
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I have this need to do so many different things, but I don't know where to begin. I want to take art classes, go back to the gym, pole dance, choreograph, do yoga, meditate, create my altar... All of that usually happens while I'm in bed.<br />
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3. What blocks or oppostions do I need to be aware of? <b>The Magician</b><br />
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I may be so focused on myself and what I want that I may not see the big picture. Sometimes, it's just not all about me.<br />
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4. What area of my life will be most influenced by this cycle? <b>Ace of Wands</b><br />
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It's creative bursts. It's having the ability to be artistic and creative.<br />
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5. What do I need to learn during this cycle? <b>3 of Wands</b><br />
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I need to learn to create opportunities for myself instead of sitting around and waiting for things to happen.<br />
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6. How can I incorporate these lessons into my life? <b>8 of Swords</b><br />
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I just need to stop with the indecisiveness and self-doubt. That kind of thinking will lead me nowhere.<br />
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7. What will be the most likely result at the end of this cycle? <b>Queen of Pentacles</b><br />
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I identify with this queen the most of the four in Secret. I think it's allowing myself to be even more nurturing in my career (dance and makeup), and continue to develop my skills.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-75038489754162652652010-03-03T20:15:00.000-08:002010-03-03T20:15:29.709-08:00Viva Las Vegas!I'll be heading to Las Vegas tomorrow to dance. I asked Secret and Mermaids if they wanted to come with me, and neither one wanted to go! They're such homebodies. They're so used to the comfort of my bed, they don't want to leave it. I wonder what I'll do with them when it comes to Burning Man. As much as I would love to have my intuitive companions with me, I'm so protective of them. I don't want anything to happen to them during that time, especially since BM is pure craziness.<br />
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I'll be back on Saturday!Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-39904405353763174352010-02-28T21:51:00.000-08:002010-02-28T21:51:38.804-08:00February AssessmentFebruary is over. That means spring's a-coming! Yay! I didn't do this at the end of January, but I think this would be great to do an assessment of each month based on the cycle of the year I did at the beginning of the year.<br />
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February's Card: <b>Queen of Swords</b><br />
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I'd say that this was a rather accurate card for this month for many different reasons. My primary assessment of the card was that I was going to be emotionally withdrawn, and keeping myself guarded with my feelings and thoughts. That definitely happened. There was a situation that occurred that caused me to withdraw into myself and stopped me from being as open as I would like. On the other side of the coin, there's a guy who I'm very interested in is in my life (granted we met in January during a photo shoot). The Queen of Swords is the court card that represents Libra, his zodiac sign, so I'd say that's the good side to this card. I hope that there's something developing between us.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-9319575069951690802010-02-22T12:06:00.000-08:002010-02-22T12:06:28.240-08:00Portrait SpreadI found this lovely spread on Aeclectic Tarot, and I thought it would be great to do it. I love to compile spreads and out them in my journal. Some I'll actually do, others I'll observe and try to understand what Secret is telling me. The brackets indicate that the card is laid out horizontally.<br />
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6<br />
<br />
4 5<br />
<br />
[1]<br />
<br />
2<br />
<br />
[3]<br />
<br />
1. This is how I see the world. This is what I see. <b>The Magician</b><br />
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I see potential. I see this budding energy that's just waiting to take the world by storm. I feel like there's a budding energy that's waiting to explode. <br />
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2. This is what I smell, this is where I'm following my nose to. <b>Knave of Cups</b><br />
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I took this position as if I were a pointer or a bloodhound. What am I latching onto as a guide for me. Now, I love this knave. He is so sweet and gentle, and I smile every time I see him. He is my favorite of the four. That being said, he scares the shit out of me. Why? I don't want to be set up for disappointment. He comes with a message of potential love and romance. I'm not even speculating who at this point, but considering what I want now, I hope he's not playing games with me.<br />
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3. This is how I talk. This is how I communicate. <b>7 of Pentacles</b><br />
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At first I was wondering what Secret was trying to say about it, but it just hit me. When I first meet people, I tend to take a step back and assess where I am and how people approach each other before I put myself out there. I'm very shy and guarded in the beginning, but it really doesn't take a long time before I become a chatterbox.<br />
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4. This is what I hear others say about me. <b>9 of Wands</b><br />
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My first instinct seeing this card is about loneliness. I think people realize that as open as I am about a lot of things, I still keep so much of myself very private, and that they often don't see the "real" me (whoever she is). <br />
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5. This is what I hear myself say about myself. <b>The Devil</b><br />
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This is very accurate. I'm constantly putting myself down.<b> </b>Once a negative thought comes into my head, it just keeps going and going. It starts with one thing then just keeps going. I can't watch myself in videos because the first thoughts are about my body, and then it just escalates into my abilities as a dancer and choreographer. I beat myself up a lot.<br />
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6. This is how I think; this is my perception of the world. <b>Temperance</b><br />
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I try to look to the outside world to find balance. I'm looking to nature for its healing energy and power. I try to be open to new opportunities.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-160995397495599192010-02-16T10:00:00.000-08:002010-02-16T10:00:23.628-08:00Valentine's Day SpreadTo top the icing of the suckage cake, there's a video of the event and I'm not in it. Of everything that went on, I'm the only one not in the video. Yeah, ultimate fail.<br />
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Fortunately, I had a great reading from Kafka's Ghost. It's so amazing how despite the distance, she's very in tune with me. She has a great skill. She gave me some huge insights on what I think I need and the changes that are going on right now. Love ya, KG!<br />
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I decided to do a Valentine's Day spread found <a href="http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?p=449271#post449271">here</a>. I decided to use Mermaids for this spread.<br />
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1. Past experience with love. <b>Knight of Swords</b><br />
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Whenever someone has expressed interest in me, I would practically flee like this knight is doing. I'd say to myself, "Why is this person interested in me? I don't think I'm anything special." I was all about retreating into myself.<br />
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2. Current experience with love. <b>The Hanged Man</b><br />
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A whole lot of nothing is happening right now. I'm just in a stagnant place. Nothing moving forward or back. It just...is. <b> </b><br />
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3. What you have to give in a love relationship. <b>Knave of Swords</b><br />
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I guess I'm up for the challenge of being in a relationship.<b> </b><br />
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4. What I want from a love relationship. <b>3 of Swords</b><br />
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How funny is it to get this card? What I want is honesty and truth. I want to know the truth, even if it means that I may get hurt. <b><br />
</b><br />
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5. What I need from a love relationship. <b>The Empress</b><br />
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I think I need a relationship where I can fully be myself. A relationship where I can be nurturing to my partner, be sensual and feminine. I need to be that giver, but I also need to learn patience.<b> </b><br />
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6. Future experiences with love. <b>Queen of Swords</b><br />
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This card was interesting to see because I did another relationship spread and this queen came up in the "qualities I look for in a mate" position (using Secret). The Zodiac sign affiliated with her is Libra, who is also the sign of a certain new (now not so new, but you get the point) acquaintance. I don't want to get my hopes up, but it would be super awesome if it was him.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-85600225140655047622010-02-15T08:57:00.000-08:002010-02-15T08:57:33.914-08:00A Valentine's Day Daily 3I'm not really putting up daily 3 nowadays because my life isn't all that interesting, but I have been putting it in my journal. I decided to put this one up because it was Valentine's Day, and it wound up sucking ass in the end (despite performing).<br />
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1. What I did well today? <b>4 of Cups</b><br />
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I am acknowledging the fact that everything is not as peachy keen and harmonious as I had thought it would be. I'm beginning to realize that I'm so caught up in my issues that I sometimes miss the good opportunities in front of me.<br />
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2. What I need to leave behind? <b>5 of Wands</b><br />
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Yeah. Very accurate, Secret. Basically I had a gig last night (What's better than sitting in front of the TV watching The Notebook while eating a carton of Ben & Jerry's ice cream? Working!), and a dude I hooked up with was there. I knew he was going to be there because he was helping out with the event. He has some serious douche tendencies, so needless to say I was mad at the fact that this fool has a chick on his arm while I'm single. This got a huge WTF?!!?? from me. How does this asshole have someone? I didn't get it, and I don't get it still. Needless to say I spent most of the evening pissed off: Pissed that he doesn't have the common decency to be civil (no slapping my back with a magazine does not mean hello, nor is drunk texting me at 8AM on a Sunday), pissed at seeing him with someone while I'm single, and mostly pissed at myself for letting him affect me that way to the point where it impacted my dance. I'm angry at myself for letting someone so insignificant hold so much power over me, and I know I need to let it go.<br />
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3. What I need to take with me into tomorrow? <b>9 of Swords</b><br />
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I need to not lose sleep over this douchenozzle. He's just simply not worth my time or effort, and I just need to let it go. I am that which I am. He is that which he is.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-16585231515232923152010-02-10T21:18:00.000-08:002010-02-10T21:18:02.467-08:00C for CreativityThis was another spread that I found on Aeclectic Tarot. It's such a simple spread, but I love it. I thought it was very accurate for me.<br />
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1<br />
2<br />
3<br />
<br />
1. What is my art skill? <b>Knave of Cups</b><br />
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I think this is a very accurate card to come out. Artistically, I'm a jack of all trades, master of none (except for dance and makeup), so my skill is in my imagination. I love visualizing, creating stories and images in my head. I'm such a day dreamer. It drives me crazy sometimes because I have difficulty making it real.<br />
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2. Where do I need to focus on developing my art skill? <b>Queen of Pentacles</b><br />
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She's me, of course. I think it's actually taking the time to nurture my skills. I need to practice everyday. I'll get better the more I actually do it.<br />
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3. What will I gain from this art experience? <b>The Sun</b><br />
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I will gain a sense of peace and harmony when I allow myself to enjoy the art experience. I think being an artist is something that I really am but wasn't allowed to develop because it's not becoming. It's great as a hobby, not as a profession or way of life.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-31030560920335442902010-02-10T11:48:00.000-08:002010-02-10T11:48:13.061-08:00Tarot Writing Prompt: Matchmaker, MatchmakerWhen I found Cat 'N Owl's writing prompt <a href="http://catnowl.com/2010/02/08/tarot-writing-prompt-matchmaker-matchmaker-2/">Matchmaker, Matchmaker</a>, I knew that I had to write this. In fact, the two cards came to me immediately without having to go through my deck. I don't claim to be a writer, so don't expect a literary masterpiece. I'll probably make grammatical errors in the process too. I have difficulty translating images I visualize into words.<br />
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<a href="http://taroteca.multiply.com/photos/album/91/Secret#35.jpg"><img border="0" src="http://images.taroteca.multiply.com/image/44/photos/91/500x500/35.jpg/17-Major-Star.jpg?et=%2BL7I61AUIKF3fhU28ILjcw&nmid=0" /></a> <a href="http://taroteca.multiply.com/photos/album/91/Secret#77.jpg"><img border="0" src="http://images.taroteca.multiply.com/image/42/photos/91/500x500/77.jpg/38-Minor-Swords-03.jpg?et=Nt2eGt5jWb6R01GFKWMZPA&nmid=0" /></a><br />
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In the darkness of night, she stands alone by a pond, a jug of water in her hands. Her heart breaks because of the loss she's faced. Did her love one die? Did he reject her love? No one knows. She will not reveal the source of her pain. Instead, she swears to herself to never give her love to anyone. She begins to pour the water into the pond, releasing her heart to the world. In her sadness, she doesn't see the star, her sliver of hope.<br />
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He is a weary traveler. He has come a long way, but he still has so far to go. His journey never seems to end, but he finds solace in his trusty companion. He doesn't know why he continues this journey, but he knows he must go. His only source of guidance is the lone star that illuminates his path. Exhausted from his journey, he stops at a pond to let his horse drink when he sees a woman pouring water into the pond.<br />
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She lifts her head and their eyes meet. There is something intriguing, but they both hesitate. His lips curl in an inviting smile, compelling her to react in kind. Somehow, there's a sense of ease between them, a familiarity. What's to come, they don't know, but they feel hopeful...<br />
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A song that really came to my head while writing this is "Sweet Potato" by Sia. Great song...Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5026918017875723526.post-12009987060812823722010-02-05T22:11:00.000-08:002010-02-05T22:11:16.161-08:00My PDR ProgressI was reading Bluedragonfly's entry about her PDR progress, and I thought it would be a good idea to see how Secret sees my progress.<br />
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1. How am I progressing with my PDR? <b>6 of Cups</b><br />
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I'm currently seeing this PDR as a form of escapism. I'm taking a bit of a child-like approach to it, developing a sense of comfort and familiarity with Secret.<br />
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2. Why do I need to do this PDR? <b>9 of Cups</b><br />
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I get comfort and satisfaction from doing this. It's my own little personal indulgence.<br />
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3. What problems am I facing with my PDR? <b>10 of Cups</b><br />
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I think I'm focusing too much on how the PDR should be instead of embracing it for what it is. I need to allow it to be my own personal journey.<br />
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4. What do I need to focus on developing in my PDR? <b>Ace of Cups</b><br />
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I must establish a deeper connection with Secret. I must trust in my intuition, and embrace what he says.<br />
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5. What can I gain from this PDR? <b>2 of Cups</b><br />
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I can create a deeper connection and bond with Secret.<br />
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Wow... lots of Cups involved here. I think Secret has become attached to me too. I like it.Dancing Geminihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08888833405595256204noreply@blogger.com2