New Year 3-Card Spread

Because we are leaving 2009 (thank goodness), I did a spread to see what I can look forward to in 2010.

1. What can I look forward to in 2010? 5 of Swords
A woman is on the edge of a cliff with five swords pointed at her, poised to strike. She has her sword drawn, ready to attack as well. She also has five swords overhead, her mode of protection. She knows that she's outnumbered, so it's not wise to just rely on her fighting ability. She has to use her wits as well. This means that 2010 isn't going to be easy as well, but I'll make it if I'm smart about how I approach the world.

2. What I must leave behind in 2009? The Tower
It's dark and gloomy, and lightning has struck the tower, causing major destruction. Two people have fallen out of the tower. Will they die? Will they be severely injured when they reach the ground? Will they land on their feet? My job loss happened. I can't change that. I just have to go forward and do what I need to do.

3. What must I carry over from 2009 that is not yet complete? 6 of Swords
It's not a sunny day, but not as dark as the Tower. The boat is pressing on in the journey, and the female passenger is looking back at where she's been. How calm are the waters? How deep is it? Three swords are pointed towards the tower, three pointed away. She's looking away from the tower, but also looking back at the past. My journey continues. I have only just begun.

Thoughts?

My Path

My path into Tarot is a very short one, but it's a part of a larger journey that I am currently partaking. I guess it couldn't hurt to write about it. The elements alone don't seem to make a lot of sense, but when put together, it makes for a rather interesting story. I'm going to ramble a lot. Just putting thoughts out there.

I think I've always believed in what Tarot can give us. I don't think that it's a way to tell us what to do and how to live our lives. It opens up a world of possibilities and choices. I think Tarot can give us insights that we wouldn't normally think to give us. It's up to us to use those insights to the best of our abilities.

My story actually starts in March of 2008. As a part of my girlfriend's birthday celebration, she hired a Tarot reader. A Tarot reader who's also a belly dancer and at the time was a part of a troupe of a well-known dancer in the area (looking back, if that wasn't my spirit guide's smack upside the head, I don't know what is). It was a very eye-opening reading, as everything she had informed me was very spot on. She had informed me of my struggle of acknowledging myself as a woman despite being 23 at the time. She also informed me of my child-like qualities, a sort of innocence I exude. The two biggest things, however, were the cards in position 9 and 10 of the Celtic Cross: Death and Judgement. My biggest fear will become my biggest hope, and I will eventually share what I love with the world. How true it was. I was afraid of losing my job and that sense of security. A year later, I was laid off, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. That allowed me to focus on what made me happy: my dance and makeup. I became a dance teacher, and regardless of how lazy I felt during the day, when I was in the studio I gave all of myself to my students. How cool is that?

I felt like the Universe had freed me from a very toxic environment and allowed me to go forward with what I wanted to do, but at the same time I struggled with a loss of identity. The standard path of having a 9-5 (or 10 depending on the assignment) was gone. I still had my dance and my makeup, but I didn't consciously know what I could bring to both. In essence, I didn't know who *I* was. Something compelled me to take up artistic modeling. Don't really know why, I guess it was just something to do. Then there was this fateful day in August, where I modeled out in the New Jersey State Park. No expectations. Practice on his part, and my wanting to be out of the house. It was quite the liberating experience to model out in nature. I didn't worry about people potentially catching me. It was so beautiful, and when I saw the pictures, I was in awe. Normally, I'd cringe at seeing myself in pictures, but I told the photographer that he captured something that was beyond me. I couldn't verbalize what it was, but it was beautiful. My favorite photo is of me standing by a tree, looking out to the open space before me (hoping that a car wouldn't pass by in the process). It was so simple, and I wasn't really doing anything, but I felt this feminine energy that I hadn't felt before.

I felt like something new had developed, that there was this self-discovery. I had this feeling that there was something new going on, but I had no idea what. Still, it was so exciting, that I just had to embrace it. I longed to be a student again, to understand what this discovery was, how I can channel this energy into my daily life, how I can be a more fulfilled human being. I've found that this discovery has manifested itself in my dance, and it's changed how I approach the dance as well.

I've always been interested in astrology, and I always joke that if you want to know what I'm like in a nutshell, just look up my natal chart. In a period of madness, I considered tattooing my natal chart onto my body (cooler heads prevailed). I discovered that during this time of discovery Neptune trined Mercury. It was going to be a time of spiritual insights and enlightenment, enhanced creative abilities, developing intuition. It was so exciting to learn that this was happening while I was continuing my journey.

All of a sudden, I saw a book that was up for sale about Tarot spreads on a belly dance forum (thanks to the absolutely awesome C). Something in my gut just said to buy it, and so I did. I had always been interested in, but I didn't think I have the ability to read the cards (I still don't, but that's something that I have to take day by day). It was the purchase that changed my life. It's allowed me to dive further into my journey, and according to Secret it's a profound journey.

Whew... that was a lot. There's so much more I can say, but then I'd be all over the place.

Spirit Guides

So I've also been doing some spreads on my spirit guides. C gave me a great spread to see how many I have and what they're like.  This is her spread:

1 - Number of spirit guides I have

5 - An event where your presence was particularly strong
4 - When is your presence strongest?
2 - Personality/temperament
3 - Why are you with me?
6 - What would you like me to know at the moment?

It turns out that I have 9 guides. I must need a lot of help. I managed to talk to two before reaching the head honcho. Spirit guide # 3. She has not revealed her name to me, but her presence is quite strong. I was trying to contact the other six, but she definitely did not want to leave. She is my feminine energy. She's with me on a day to day basis. She's with me when I dance. The day before Halloween had a different kind of energy, and that was when she made herself known to me. I'd like to know more about her. I have to find a spread for that...

2010 Relationship Spread - My Reading

On to Part 2! This was my reading and C provided me with some insight on what certain cards meant. C and I joke that Secret is like the kung-fu master who's very soft spoken and wise, but will hit me over the head when I least expect it. It's very true. I like this deck. I think we'll have a good relationship. Her response is in italics.

1 - The Empress (She is sitting on her throne, but in a dark space. Her only source of light comes from a window in the distance. She has her scepter in her hand, indicating that she's willing to use her power, but her shield is mantled against the wall. What's very striking is that her surroundings are dark, and she is very pale, but she has a vivid red gown.) This will be a time of feminine energy, but there's a sense of subtlety to that energy. There is a maternal energy there, but distant. It's the antithesis of Samantha Jones, for lack of a better term.

2 - 7 of Swords reversed (A soldier is attempting to sneak off with five swords from his camp, contemplating taking the other two that are perched outside of a tent.) Hmm... this one is rather tricky for me in reverse. I feel like Secret is saying that I've allowed myself to trust others, which would make sense because I do tend to keep myself very closed off.

I also see this as some kind of "rogue" relationship, should you choose to pursue it. Have you ever done the long distance thing?  

3 - Knave of Chalices (A boy out in the rain with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a cup in offering) He wanted to let me know that I was going to meet someone that I was going to have a romantic interlude with, and it happened.

Also the lake behind him is very glassy and smooth on the surface but who knows how deep, how turbulent below the surface...

 

4 - 8 of Swords (A nude woman, save for a blue blanket is huddled inside the swords that are lodged in the earth. 6 of the swords are of the same height, but two are significantly shorter. She's looking at the opening to free herself, but makes no move to escape) I feel stuck in the situation. If I move on, then I might lose out on the chance of being with him. If I hope that he comes back, then I might lose out on meeting someone who will give me what I need. I'm at an impasse.

5 - The Moon (A nude woman with a bow and arrow is running as the dog and wolf howl at the moon. The crab has gotten out of the water to honor the moon) I don't really know what to think of this card in this position. Maybe relating to position 4, Secret is saying that I'm driving myself crazy over this situation. I will say that this thing has haunted my dreams, as I've found that every night since I met him there has been some reference to him, which is absolutely crazy indeed.

I. LOVE. This Moon! 

I think there is a possibility that since much of this is taking place in your head for now, you could be creating and crafting things that may or may not exist. Could also mean, trust your intuition and take a "leap of faith"! ;0) 

6 - Knave of Wands (A boy wearing a brown cloak holding a staff that is much longer than he. His other hand is pointing up with his fingers in a "hold on!" kind of position. I sense wind when I look at that image) There's something indicating a message of travel. He travels for business, and he regularly stops in New York. We're both planning on going to Burning Man next year (I'm not going because of him, though).

SO jealous you're going to Burning Man. Go to the Opera, whatever you do!  

7 - 10 of Wands (A woman in a black dress is smoking a cigarette and holding a skull. The wands are painted on the walls behind her) The reality is that this situation is out of my control. There's not much that I can do to see if the experience can blossom into anything more. It's basically in his hands now.

I am basically ignoring the LWB on this card, lol. 

I also see this as someone who is coolly and calmly biding her time. She is sexy and badass. That is you. You can also decide to do something about this feeling of uncertainty; feel like you have the power to be proactive, rather than waiting for him to make a move. 

8 - The Chariot (A soldier standing in his chariot is looking left while the lions, his steed, are looking at each other. In the spread, he's looking at the Empress, but she's not really looking at him) I don't know. Secret pulled a doozy with this one. I know that in order to be victorious, I must have control, but how can I do that when the situation is out of my control?

I often see Chariot as a card of determined focus. Chariots have to come at their enemy at an angle, so it's not a direct approach. Still, you have to anticipate where you want to go in order to direct the chariot to go where you want it. This to me is saying, I think you just need to decide if you want to pursue and then pursue (if that's what you select to do). You have that Empress feminine power/energy on your side. It's a confidence thing. 

 

9 - 3 of Pentacles reversed (A man has just completed a painting of two women holding a pentacle with a third on the ground) The reversal of this card is saying that I'm not putting any effort into establishing a relationship, but how can I when I'm apparently stuck and powerless? I don't know if that makes any sense.

Hmm...could also be that this process in your mind can no longer be "democratic" (working in a group, community effort). Based on above, it can be you who decides the fate of this relationship. :0)  

2010 Relationship Spread - C's Reading

So I had the opportunity to work with my buddy C on a 2010 Relationship Spread, and we discovered a very useful way for me to get a better sense of working with Secret. She used Universal Fantasy for her reading, then I used Secret. Needless to say, she was really spot on with her reading. My response is in italics.

1 Today's Year Card & Relationship Approach/Trends: III The Empress [she has the most amazing bio-organic looking dress on and a gigantic headdress that extends almost the length of her body behind her, it is supported by a metal pole, it's so large]

This is telling me that this year (2010) relationships for you will be particularly sensual, rich, with lots of strong feminine energy (yours). Make sure you are using protection (Empress's common association with pregnancy). 

 

This one is big especially since it's only recently that I've been able to tap into that energy at use it. I think it really came into the mix when I met him because the energy I was exuding was different from what would normally come out of me. The Empress is also my personality/soul card.

2 Summary for the Relationship Today: 9 Swords [a girl cowers at the corner of her bed, a menacing shadow with 8 swords sticking out of its back appears to strike her down with another sword]

This relationship is really weighing on your mind; you're a bit anxious about it, not sure what to do. You vacillate b/t making it a big deal and not wanting to make it a big deal. The less you try to think about it, the more it sticks in your mind. 

 

Very accurate. I find myself playing back the events of the two nights we were together without realizing it. It's especially bad when I'm sleeping.

3 Summary of Relationship in the Past, Influencing & Leading Up to Today: 2 Pentacles reversed [an androgynous youth deftly maneuvers 2 wooden poles upon which long and unfurled banners swirl; 1 green + pentacle, 1 red + pentacle; red + green indicating opposites, duality, etc.]

Did you meet at a show? There were some key points on which you really clicked, others not so sure, not so clear. You "danced" around each other carefully, getting to know one another w/o trying to be a turn off or showing your really goofy side. 

 

We did indeed meet at a show/dance party. My teacher was performing, and being her second in command of sorts, she pulled me up on stage to dance as well. We were definitely dancing around each other, literally and figuratively. It took a little while before the connection happened, but once it did it came in full force.

4 Danielle's Underlying Thoughts About the Relationship: XIII Death [a man dressed in a Hellraiser outfit gazes at what looks like himself lying naked on the grass, a sword in his right hand. The man in the grass is passed out/sleeping/dead. A black stallion faces the left, waiting for Hellraiser dude to get going]

You think you should just move on, let it go. It was a pleasant memory but let the past stay in the past *with a big sigh*

 

Alas, yes. My head is saying to let it go and move on with my life. My gut...

5 Deep Down, Danielle's Hopes/Dreams/Expectations About the Relationship: Ace Chalices [an immense chalice sits atop what looks like Rome's coliseum. On top of THAT, a huge pink flamingo is perched. Streams of water crash down into the coliseum, which is also filled with water. This is all out in the middle of a vast desert]

You wish for (either with this person or sometime this year with another) a new, blossoming love. You're holding out that this relationship could actually work and become something more involved, that it has potential. 

 

...is in fact saying to hold on to this because there's a potential for something good.

WAYS TO GO ABOUT LOOKING AT THIS RELATIONSHIP (OR OTHERS THIS YEAR):

6 IV Emperor [a man in skin-tight armor stands in the sky, surrounded by a gold machine/like cape and feathered wings sprouting at his sides]

This relationship will add some balance to your life, a significant male energy.

 

His personality and soul card is The Emperor. Hmmm...

7 V The Hierophant reversed [a man sits in an elaborate throne upon which hang talismans of his knowledge or secret symbols. He is surrounded by female oracles]

It may be a rather unconventional relationship (is he married??) or one that would challenge and teach you a lot about who you are, your limits, your philosophy about relationship. It would definitely contribute to further personal growth (III Empress, IV Emperor, V Hierophant progression). 

 

He's not married, as far as I know. He lives in California while I'm in New York, so the distance would be a HUGE test. 

8 6 Chalices, reversed [a young boy and girl sit on the back of a giant winged snail. 5 plant-filled chalices sit on its back, while the boy retrieves a 6th from a pond that the snail is standing in. In the distance is a city]

If you get together, it may not be the way it was when you first hooked up. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just expect it to be different or at a different level than it was in the past. 

 

I figured that if we were to see each other again, it would be under different circumstances. We'll see how it goes.

9 Possible Direction to Take: 8 Wands reversed [A nest made of 8 curving branches protects a nest filled with eggs. A large falcon sits on this nest, protecting the eggs, while another flies around, looking for nourishment]

Take it slow. Give it time. Pursue it but not hastily. As this pertains to other relationships this year, there could be other interests on the horizon (the eggs in the nest; there are 3). Don't put all your eggs in one basket. ;0) 

 

I can totally work with that. :-) I'm having difficulty letting go because there's this thing in my gut that said that this was more than just lust at first sight, especially considering the events that had occurred the night we met and when we saw each other the next night. At the same time, I can't just have blinders on and focus on him coming back, because what if I never see him again, and I miss out on someone who could make me happy?

 

"New Deck Interview" Spread

While I was checking out AT, there were a couple of references to FireRaven's New Deck Interview Spread. I thought this would be a good way for me to get acquainted with Secret. I'm still new to interpreting the cards, so I'm looking for feedback on my interpretation. He's... like my 11th grade history teacher. Very in-your-face, but encouraging as well.

1) Tell me about yourself: What's your most important characteristic? 8 of Wands
I'm very blunt, and my messages come quickly. I will give you a definite answer, and I encourage you to act on my suggestions.

2) What are your strengths as a deck? 2 of Pentacles (Rx)
I'm straight-forward. I will tell it like it is, and I am going to be very direct with you. You don't have to worry about me providing you with different possibilities.

3) What are your limits as a deck? 5 of Wands
My words are going to get me into some trouble. We are going to have some disagreements and butt heads. There will be times when you will not like the answers I give you. There will also be times when I think your question is silly, and I will not hesitate to let you know.

4) What do you bring to the table - what are you here to teach me? Hermit
I want to teach you how to dig deep in order to see my messages. Take the messages that I give you and truly learn from them. This is a part of your spiritual journey. Do not take this lightly. This will help you.

5) How can I best learn from and collaborate with you? 9 of Pentacles

If you work hard at your practice, you will be good at reading me and other cards. Enjoy the process. It will be difficult at times, but you will reap the rewards.

6) What is the potential outcome of our working relationship? 6 of Pentacles

At the end of the day, I'm here to guide you. I want to help you, and I want to give you the push you need. That being said, I'm not going to hold your hand all the time. You have to do the work as well.

Position 4 is rather telling to me since it is the only Major that came out in the spread. I think Secret is here to make me think about my spiritual journey, and he's going to be a major guide in that process.

Primary Deck Reflection - Secret Tarot

This blog will be my attempt at doing a Primary Deck Reflection on the Secret Tarot. I had spent a bit of time with Legacy of the Divine when something compelled me to open this deck and go through it. Then it clicked for me. I felt like I could understand the essence of tarot with this deck. The cards spoke to each other, and I felt like the story could play itself out. This will be something that I am committed to as I grow in my own spiritual practice.

Personality Card: The Empress
Soul Card: The Empress
Hidden Factor Cards: The Hanged Man, The World
2009 Year Card: The Wheel of Fortune
Zodiac Card: The Lovers
Numerical Lesson and Opportunities Cards: 3 of Wands, 3 of Cups, 3 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles
Zodiac Lessons and Opportunities Cards: 8 of Swords, 9 of Swords, 10 of Swords
Destiny Card: 10 of Swords
Personal Potential Card: Knight of Swords
Inner Teacher Card: Knight of Cups
Mode of Expression in the World Card: King of Wands